I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
