Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i out mim tonsoeep
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