The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
