doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
