Do you still have your period?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
