Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
