HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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