you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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