Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up under a house in Key West
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