we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
