I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
