she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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