Quick, to the slutcave!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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