I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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