Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
What a dumb baby whore.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My vagina is officially offended.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize