There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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