If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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