i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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