Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
