Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
