My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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