Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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