im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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