im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize