We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
