Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
