some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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