I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
