She said her name was "party"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
