so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
