I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
