it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
