i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Text me some of your sweat
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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