Where is the hickey?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
