Dual....:-)
I love black thongs
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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