its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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