My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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