No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
