Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
