Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
