He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
