i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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