Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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