I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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