He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
