Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize