Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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