it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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