yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My vagina just clenched in fear
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize