No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
