Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize