Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
