even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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