She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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