just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
