Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
