Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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