I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
