Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
